The “male-enforced rules” myth
The claim that men simply imposed patriarchal masculinity on themselves does not survive feminist writing itself.
In The Will to Change, bell hooks explicitly argues that women can absorb and enforce patriarchal expectations of masculinity. A mother can shame a boy for crying. A partner can demand strength and confidence, then lose respect when a man shows fear, defeat, or dependency.
That does not prove men do not enforce those rules. They do.
It proves something else: the male role is maintained by incentives and punishments from both sexes, not by a male conspiracy against itself.
Look at the penalty for refusing the role.
Who loses respect? Who becomes “not a real man”? Who is expected to provide, protect, endure, and hide weakness? Who makes those demands?
A male role does not become voluntary because some of its enforcement comes from women.